Knockout Year

Can I just start off by saying how excited I am that it’s 2016! TWENTY-SIXTEEN! There is nothing special about those numbers and there’s nothing significant happening this year (that I know of yet) but I’m just so ready for it. Do you know when you’re watching an action movie and it’s so intense and you’re waiting for the next part to relieve your anxiety? That is how I felt throughout 2015. Last year went by so quick because there was so much happening but I also felt like the struggle was never ending.

I won’t give you details as to what exactly was so hard but I’ll tell you what it was like walking through it.

I started the year walking slow, unsure of where exactly I was heading. I thought I was prepared and ready to take on the challenge, whatever that may be. I was horribly mistaken. I didn’t see it coming. Out of nowhere life sucker punched me right in the face! It knocked out my time. Then another hit knocked out my focus, before I could get up again another hit got me right in my insecurities. At this point it was only April and I struggled to catch my breath. How did I even get here? One day I’m ready for an adventurous walk and the next I had walked myself right into a boxing ring. How did that even happen? I heard voices from outside the ring, yelling, telling me what to do. I tried to make out what they were saying but it was just noise. I took a deep breath and swung my left hand at the shadow in front of me. I think it felt it but I’m pretty sure I got the worse end of it as a shooting pain started from my knuckle projecting up my arm, crippling my energy, strength and motivation.

Ding! Ding! Half Time! July…

The sound of half time gives me hope. I find a stool in the corner to rest on but for some reason I’m not getting my breath back. I feel a hand tilt my head back and pour water on my face. I open my mouth and feel the cool taste of water refresh my parched lips. My breathing begins to steady and I focus on it. The voices quietened. I only hear my thoughts, “Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale”.

Ding! Ding! Round 2! August…

At this point I figured if I block the hits they would only wear me out and not do any permanent damage. So I put my arms up to protect my mind and elbows in to protect my heart. My movements are slow and my vision is blurred but I know that this match has to end at some point. I thought to myself, “who is fighting me anyway?” I rub my eyes and try to peak over my fists in between hits only to see a hooded figure. Legs shaking and my opponent must have noticed because in one second they are knocked out from beneath me and my opponent is on top of me, staring me right in my eyes… My body shivered, I couldn’t believe how this could be, or why!?

My opponent… she… is me.

The crowd’s voices become clear. They’re not cheering me. They are cheering the other me. They want her to finish me.

I can’t fail!

But what really am I failing at? I’m loosing time and energy but my jobs are getting done. I just need to focus and get through this.

I covered my head with my arms and bent over take hit after hit. I stood my ground. Then I heard it, Ding! Ding! Ding!

The hits stopped. I looked up and everyone was gone. There I was alone in the boxing ring.

I collapsed and lay there till my eyes drifted closed.

That’s what 2015 felt like.

I got through it but I left it feeling tired, overwhelmed and basically having to drag my feet everywhere I went.

Then I went to Israel. I didn’t have to plan a thing. I just went wherever the tour guide said. I was able to sit back and enjoy my time, the food and the places. It was refreshing. I formed new relationships (with no effort at all) and I learnt so much in just 2 weeks! I loved it!

I came back home a little more energised. I celebrated Christmas and New Years and I found something that I’d been missing. My joy. I got my joy back! As soon as I realised it, the old song I used to sing in Sunday school popped into me head, “I got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. WHERE? Down in my heart to staaayyy.” I automatically felt blessed. Thank you Jesus for my joy!

Steven Furtick held a NYE service at Elevation church in Charlotte and I watched it shortly after it was posted online. He said, don’t just get through the year but look at the miracles God gives us and take something out of each month. Once you do then go into 2016 saying Hello from the other side. The battle I faced last year, I’m over it! The pressure I put on myself to perform, I’m over it! I got joy and peace now to praise God for the miracles he did in my life in 2015 and what he’s going to do in 2016. I’m looking forward to it!

Even when it makes no sense

Just recently a woman from my parents church went into Cardiac arrest while working out at the gym. She was in ICU hooked up to machines for a few days. The doctors told the family they can only pray for a miracle… So they did.

Family, friends and church members all went to Liverpool Hospital chapel to praise God through the storm and pray for a miracle. They posted things on facebook saying “praising through the storm”, “His mercies are new every morning”, “she’s in good hands”. They were singing, “Even when it hurts like hell I’ll praise you, I will sing till the miracle comes.”

Wednesday afternoon I got word that she didn’t make it.

What the heck?

This story made absolutely no sense! She was probably in her 40’s, she was a mother of three grown kids, she loved Jesus and served and worshipped him with all her heart, SHE WAS HEALTHY and in a split second her heart stops. There was so much prayer and faith but still no miracle.

That family knew that it was a blessing whether she made it or not because they had faith in eternity. At the end of the day God’s word is still truth and he is still a good God. When a sickness attacks someone and they pass away or when a tough situation arises and failure feels strong people think that Satan has won. This is not true! Satan is only winning if someone looses faith during the battle. The bomb doesn’t define the victory the people who come out still holding on do. Or in other words, “It’s not about how hard you hit but it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward”. This women’s family came out singing and hushed the enemy doing it. A line from the song ‘Even when it hurts’ from Hillsong United’s Album Empires says, “Even when it makes no sense to sing, louder then I’ll sing your praise”. The sound of praise shatters the enemy.

So if you feel like Satan is throwing one grenade after the other then… SING LOUDER! PRAISE HARDER! WORSHIP DEEPER! Don’t let Satan win by stealing your faith! God is good and his Love endures forever!